Tag: humor
group name: everything2
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January 31, 2008 02:42 PM EST --
This showed up in my email. With superbowl coming up, I thought y'all might get a kick out of it.
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man
passes . . . more
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January 31, 2008 05:31 PM EST --
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
Heard your wife left you;
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She . . . more
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March 12, 2007 08:59 PM EDT --
The Top Reasons to Go to Work Naked
[Courtesy of topfive.com]
* Your boss is always yelling "I wanna see your ass in
here by 8:00!"
* Can . . . more
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February 04, 2008 07:07 AM EST --
Monday: It's fun to cook for Ron . Today I made an angel food cake. The recipe said to beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to lend me some extra bowls.
Tuesday: Ron wanted . . . more
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February 05, 2008 06:44 AM EST --
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy . . . more
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February 07, 2008 07:43 PM EST --
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry !+^@+!! who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When . . . more
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January 13, 2008 01:10 PM EST --
I anxiously glance at the clock; it's 7:45. Only 5 more minutes and I can leave. The first store I'm going to hit opens at eight, so I have to leave at 7:50. If I drive . . . more
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January 12, 2008 12:51 PM EST --
Okay, . . . more
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February 26, 2008 04:52 PM EST --
Things Not To Say During Childbirth....
-- Gosh, you're lucky. I sure wish men could experience the miracle of childbirth.
-- Do you think the baby will come before Monday Night Football starts? . . . more
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May 09, 2007 03:40 PM EDT --
This one was too funny not to share.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was
not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs
to look for him. She finds . . . more
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February 01, 2008 07:32 PM EST --
In light of the holiday season, I am passing along some advice from Dr.
Phil -
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all
could use a little more calmness in our . . . more
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February 02, 2008 12:06 PM EST --
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning, said the young man. "If I could . . . more
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January 19, 2008 10:26 AM EST --
I had to trudge a mile from the parking lot to the front of the store. Once inside, I couldn't help but witness the chaos. People were running from aisle to aisle, climbing over each . . . more
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February 01, 2008 11:08 AM EST --
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She
told him,
"Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that
goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND . . . more
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April 23, 2007 06:33 PM EDT --
If you missed the Jimmy Kimmel show last night,then here is what you missed...i am still laughing so hard that i scared my rivvie pup!.....
"Sanjaya has quite a weekend ahead of him. He's . . . more
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March 24, 2008 11:43 AM EDT --
AAAAAAAA! Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I just love him better when I don't have to spend every day with him.
I'm used to nice, quiet, peaceful days. . . . more
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June 26, 2007 01:36 AM EDT --
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder ( Don't laugh. You know it's U)
This is how it manifests:
>
>I decide to water my . . . more
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January 14, 2008 02:01 PM EST --
There were coupons for soy joy bars in the paper. Why they include the word "joy" in the title, I'll never know. Is the taste supposed to send a burst of happiness across your . . . more
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August 01, 2008 01:24 PM EDT --
My hubby decided it was time to change the air conditioner filter. To do this,you sit on the ground, you remove 3 screws and a cover, remove the old filter, put in the new, replace the cover . . . more
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March 29, 2008 08:23 PM EDT --
I had to drive my husband somewhere today. I think it took him about 10 minutes to realize that him trying to put his foot through the floorboard would not make the car stop any quicker. . . . more
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